Sip this.. nay.., chug this..

I was sitting in this off-the-charts shady pub last night, with some compadrés and an insane chug-fest being the order of the house, and i thought to myself, what better to write about, than the awesomeness of ale!

Aye', 'tis Beer i speak of. All who have experienced the WHOOP-DE-DOO-WAAAHAAAHA of a chilled pint slippin n sliding down the thorax, will agree with me when I proclaim that it probably is the second most awesome creation of man after the good'ol WHEEL.

All those who haven't felt it.. you just officially declared to yourself that you've wasted away your existence. But there is still time! Go get yourself some WHOOP-DE-DOO-WAAHAAAHA!!! Beer is one of those things you have to acquire a taste for, kinda like Frog legs or Crab meat or Blue Fungal Cheese that is left to mature in a Yak's intestine in the darkest corners of Tibet (*slurp*, seriously :D).

Blue Cheese. Hehe. Yummmy. NAWT. :D

Sure, there are enough people in this world who feel like marrying the drink after their very first swig (speaking from experience), but if you didn't feel that way the first time your friend tried to get you high, all you need to do is go out there a couple times more, get thirsty, and take another headlong dive into that bottle'o Bud.

Apparently, This beverage is reeeheeeheee-ally old. I mean so old that some dude in Mesopotamia somewhere around 3500 B.C. made this stuff before he came up with the concept of GOD! In fact I'm pretty sure that the two are related. I'm pretty sure that the neanderthal Iranian jocks worshipped the guy who came up with this 'gift from the heavens'.

Some dude wrote the recipe for beer on this tablet 5500 years ago, Now we worship him.

The Germans are arguably the most skilled Beer brewers in the world, and suddenly you realize that they're one kickass bunch of people. History has pretty much proved that, right from the times of my favorite Impaler, dear Vlad. If one ever gets to go anywhere in and/or around Deutschland, it would be criminally WRONG to NOT get yourself a pint of 'Weissbier of Munich', or 'Münchener Wießbier', as it was known to them Kaiser descendants.

Franziskäner Weißbier. Bliss. 

One of the amazing side-effects of Beer is the hippity happity hap-hap-happy high. Unlike other alcohols that make you feel like you just just burnt an entire litter of puppies, Beer highs feel like you just blew a Vuvuzela in Barack Obama's conference, IN HIS FACE, and then flew back to the BATCAVE. :D

Also, Beer is so outright badass, its been considered to have medicinal properties. So that's an excuse for all you health freaks to go get some for yourself. Plus if you do not like ONE kind of Beer, don't despair. There is a gazillion types of Beer available, and be rest assured, somewhere out there, is that special one for you. :D

Damn I'm thirsty..  WHOOP-DE-DOO-WAAHAAAHA. Ciaô.

The chaos called home.

Hey Guys.

As I take my fledgling steps into the vast blogosphere, there is this battalion of thoughts blitzkrieg-ing through my mind's strife-ravaged battlefield. One of them, however, commands my attention far more distinctly than others, almost enslaving my fingers as they prance around on the QWERTY. Surprising as it may seem, this one isn't remotely wicked. So my evil twin howls as I stab him with a gilded Schiavona and decide to write about a rather cliched and tame topic, the time I popped back to Mama India.


The first thing that flip-kicks me in the face, as I exit the aircraft door after a 4000 mile long voyage, is the stifling humidity. Accompanying that, comes its Bambaiyya pal, the stench. It's like the city slaughtered a couple thousand animals, and left them to rot for a week, JUST for MY arrival!! (YAY!). Oh! and hold on.. that's just the prologue to a series of home-coming gifts that'd make Vlad the Impaler barf all over his Mommy.

After a half-hour-long squabble and bargain with the Rickshaw-waala for the ride home, the next part of the ordeal involves sitting through the rickety ride, akin to a mortally scary level black++ Canoeing challenge.
And just when I'm about to step out of the dude's rickety ride, he goes 'भाईसाहब चालीस रुपिया extra'. At the end of my tether, I finally give in to the shameless demand of his outstretched hand.

I reach home, as my super ecstatic Mom awaits my knock on the door. My twin grumbles to himself as I try to escape Mom's squeals and bear-hugs .. Piping hot, home-cooked, insanely delicious INDIAN food lies begging to be eaten, and I pounce upon it like a freaking man eating Minotaur .. My own bed feels so unbelievably good, I could flip off King Louis the 'n'th , and he'd stare back in jealousy like a schoolboy denied candy. :-)

The next few days, it's time to get back to all I have missed out on in the summer. I greet a horde of friendly faces with the ritualistic howls that our 'forefathers' have yelled out for generations, and a similar volley of abuses is hurled my way. I imagine the Terminator go "I AM BACK" in that holocaust reminiscent voice.

I meet more friends. Old friends, and you don't really get excuses better than that for pulling back on a couple of Jugs of Beer. Life is starting to get awesome.


I am back to the run down hellholes that my university offers as sad excuses for student hostels, back to stinky mice rummaging through my stuff, back to mess food that'd make a Billy Goat cry his holy Bejesus out, back to mosquitoes that mysteriously bite people ONLY on their booties and back to a football field that is so awesome you can play Water-polo in (on?) it.

Its raining outside, as I sit here with a hot cup of tea, listening to a certain Mr. Buckethead wail out insane guitar solos. It feels so good to be back home, my mind does a double back flip off of a 500 foot tall TV tower. Again.